dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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