I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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