we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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