i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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