woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
