We're facebook friends in real life
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
