it wasn't lemon gatorade
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
