why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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