there's paper in my vomit.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Is Oprah even human
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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