i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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