I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
