So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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