Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
