Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I smell stomach acid.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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