this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
