This is not my ceiling
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
