She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
