I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
