don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
