I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
