If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
