True but thats because hes a fetus.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
