I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
