? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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