Will you blow on my dice?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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