me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin