In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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