sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
