My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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