I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
