so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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