Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
dude. I can hear the air.
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