So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
