i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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