she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Did I show you my penis last night?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
