How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we're making bets on your personal life
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
