I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
