She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
