So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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