New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
