I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
