ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
