Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
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She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize