We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
