My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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