A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
