Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
