you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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