She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
