please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
