It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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