Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
