if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
