47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
