Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
