Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
