That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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