I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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