Do you still have your period?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
