His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
