I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
