Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
