3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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