Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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