Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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