My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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