i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
