I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
