Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize