why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
