You're earring is so big in my mouth
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
