I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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